Top Ten Favorite Restaurant Pranks

1. Rooster Tail
This classic was taught to me while working at a club on the river in Cincinnati. You take about 10 to 20 drink stirrers and get them flush on one end. Next, you take a lighter and melt that particular end. It only takes a few seconds. Finally, you touch the melted end to the butt of someone you are working with. You have to do this almost immediately after melting it. Once it touches the clothing, the whole thing should stick. Once on the target, the straws should fan out causing it to look like a rooster tail.

2. The Powdered Bottom
This is a variation of the Rooster Tail. This one is also easier to pull off because you can't feel it hit you. Almost every restaurant has either flour or powdered sugar. As the target walks by, throw a little at their butt. A lot of it sticks rather easily and it is hard to notice that anything is even on you unless it is pointed out.

3. The "Missing" Keys
This one is really mean and yet oh so amazingly funny. You "borrow" someone's car keys without them knowing. You place the car keys in a pitcher or a deep pan and fill it with water. Next, place the water-filled vessel in the freezer, out of sight of the target. It's best to do this prank at the beginning of a shift in order for the water to freeze completely. At the end of the shift/night, pull the frozen keys, ice and all, out and place it in plain view of everyone to see, whether it be in the server alley or expo area. Be warned!!! This one will almost certainly piss off the target.

4. Buttered Window
This one SUCKS to try and clean up. Almost every restaurant I've worked for has had some form of liquid "butter". All you need to do for this one is squirt some on the windows of someone's car. I like the front windshield because the first instinct for most people is to run your windshield wipers with the fluid, which will only cause the butter to spread. This is another that will certainly turn the target to the Incredible Hulk.

5. The Classic Hot Water Prank
This is one prank that has been done at every restaurant I've worked at in the past. I'm sure all of you have seen one variation of this or another. You find a new server that is assigned a drink station for closing side work. When it comes time to get checked out, ask them if they emptied all the water out of the coffee machine. Because almost every coffee maker in almost every restaurant is hooked up to the main water line, this becomes a futile task. Watch with hilarity as the target continues to empty pitcher after pitcher of the coffee machine water.

6. The Left Handed Sponge/Jigger/Spatula Prank
I love to do this one to new people as well. In the middle of a rush, grab one of the new servers. You must act very frantic in order to pull this off. Tell the server that they need to run to the back and grab you a left handed jigger/sponge/spatula. Have them run back and ask the manager to grab one so you can complete their order or what not. This takes commitment from the pranker, as it will not go over if you can't sell them on the importance of said fictional item. A variation on this would be to make them get it from the basement storage closet, which is funny considering most restaurants don't have basements.

7. The Ice Prank
This one will take a little bit of patience. You need to watch a specific server to find out which pocket of their apron they are keeping their money. Now this will work even if you don't care which pocket has the money. Doing this to the money pocket just makes it all that much more awesome. Once determining the location of the money pocket, get yourself ready with atleast 2 pieces of ice, but no more than three. You don't want to make this too obvious. Now, in a mad rush during a very busy time, bump into that person. Bumping into the person should give you enough cover to slip the ice into their apron. Now you have to wait patiently as the ice melts causing all their money to become sopping wet and leaving a nice wet spot on their apron.

8. The Upside-down Glass Full of Water Prank
This one is amazing. You take a water glass, fill it to the brim with water, and put a coaster on top of it. Next you flip it over, holding the coaster on the glass so as to not let any water out. You then either place the glass, upside-down, on a server's dirty table or the bar and slide the coaster out. The water should remain in the glass until someone not bright enough to realize it, comes along and picks the glass up. Water goes everywhere. Like I said, this one is amazing.

9. Soda Gun Prank
This one is done typically behind a bar where the soda gun is most prevalent. You will have to remove the nozzle, which sometimes is a task of its own. The looser the nozzle, the better. Next ball up atleast one and a half to two cocktail napkins and insert into nozzle. Now, replace nozzle and make sure NOT to use this particular gun. This is the part where you sit back and watch as the other bartender goes to make a drink, the nozzle flies off, and soda goes EVERYWHERE.

10. The Spicy Milkshake/Virgin Daquiri
I have to preface this by saying that I was really mean at one point to servers. To pull this off, you need some ice cream, milk, and some kind of flavoring whether it be chocolate or strawberry. Now, make one regular flavored milkshake. Then make another with some form of hot sauce added to it. As you're drinking yours, offer the "extra" to a server or host. They will be overly excited until they realize that you just ruined their taste for milkshakes by offering them one laced with Tobasco. "Drink in" the look on their faces as joy turns to heartbreak and disgust.

Now, I just want to state again that I was really mean to servers at one point. That doesn't make these any less funny however. The keys to pulling off any good prank are patience and subtlety. If I've ever pulled any of these on you, feel free to comment tell me about it. And if I left any out, comment and tell me about those as well.

What I'm Listening To...

Well, I've decided to put together a list of what's on my most listened to iPod playlist. Here it is in no particular order. Click the link to hear the song. Enjoy!

Rachael Yamagata, "Reason Why"
Lauryn Hill, "To Zion"
Across the Universe Soundtrack, "I've Just Seen A Face"
John Mayer, "Gravity"
Phil Collins, "Against all Odds"
Van Morrison, "Someone Like You"
Sara Bareilles, "Gravity"
Otis Redding, "Try a Little Tenderness"
Teddy Pendergrass, "You're My Latest, My Greatest Inspiration"
Jonny Lang, "Breakin' Me"
The Police, "So Lonely"
James Morrison, "The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore"
Damien Rice, "Cannonball"
Adam Levine/Alicia Keys, "Wild Horses"
Paolo Nutini, "Last Request"
Amos Lee, "Arms of a Woman"
R. Kelly, "If I Could Turn Back the Hands of Time"
Corinne Bailey Rae, "Choux Pastry Heart"
Hellogoodbye, "Oh, It Is Love"
Ray LaMontagne, "Hold You In My Arms"
John Legend, "This Time"
Duffy, "Mercy"
Ne-Yo, "Mad"
The Shins, "New Slang"
Jason Mraz, "Love For a Child"
Norah Jones, "Don't Miss You At All"
Adele, "Make You Feel My Love"

Random Pics On My Camera

Tribute to Ansel Adams

Snow-covered backyard

From South Mountain near Phoenix

Phoenix from afar

Arizona...

From Big Mike's Wedding.

I love the color change features on my camera.

A cool pic taken by my friend Kelly.

Click on a pic to blow it up.

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Now playing: Ray Lamontagne - Hold You In My Arms
via FoxyTunes

A Love Letter

To my dearest,
I have loved you for so long now. I cannot remember a day in my past when you were not a part of my being. I yearn to relive the day I first tasted your luscious velvetiness; the initial cold sensation that overtook my heart and caused my mind to further dream of future times of oneness are hard ones to recapture. I, though, am able to recreate that sensation over and again. I am amazed at how you continue to surprise me every time I have you. There are hardly words to describe the overwhelming joy that you have brought me. This is why I write to you, my dearest Ice Cream. No lactose-intolerance could ever separate us.

Forever yours,
Me

And now...A list of my Top 10 Favorite Ice Creams

1) Homemade Brand Cookies and Cream.
There is something so wonderfully simple about this ice cream and yet so damn sinful. I had a roommate who lived all over the U.S. tell me it was the best Cookies and Cream ice cream on the market. I wholeheartedly agree.
2) Blue Bell Banana Pudding.
Who knew this particular flavor of ice cream would be this delectable? I certainly didn't. Everything one could possibly love about Grandma's banana pudding is in here. I think I just shed a tear.
3) Haagen-Dazs Toasted Coconut Sesame Brittle.
I know how strange this sounds. I felt the same way. But the combination of the toasted coconut mixed with crispy sweetness of the sesame brittle is amazing. It causes my heart to flutter.
4) Sweet Red Bean Ice Cream.
Another strange one. You can find this at most Asian specialty shops. It is something so foreign to American palates and yet I think it would go over well here. The flavor has a deep richness to it. It's also really good as a Popsicle.
5) Ben and Jerry's Everything But The...
I love this one. It has everything you could possibly need in a good ice cream. It has Heath bar chunks, white chocolate chips, peanut butter cups, and chocolate covered almonds. This ice cream reminds me of that person each of us have in our lives that try to please everyone by being everything to everybody. You know who you are...
6) Haagen-Dazs Mango Sorbet.
Look, I know it's not technically "ice cream", but hey it comes in a pint, comes from the freezer aisle, and you have to eat it with a spoon, so BACK OFF! I love mango. It's such a tropical flavor. And this particular one is great on a very hot summer day.
7) Homemade Brand Chocolate Chip.
Homemade Brand just makes some damn fine ice cream. The chips in this, I believe, are a bittersweet chocolate chip. The thing I love the most about them is they are wafer thin chips, not those big crunchy ones. It's really hard to explain. Just try it.
8) Blue Bell Pecan Pie.
Pecan pie just happens to be my favorite baked dessert. To be able to capture the buttery richness of a homemade pecan pie seems to be almost impossible. And yet, it was done beautifully here.
9) Haagen-Dazs Caramel Cone OR Ben and Jerry's Americone Dream.
These are a tie for me. The idea of eating ice cream with chocolate covered waffle pieces in it is a dream come true. I used to love waffle cones as a kid, so this brings about that love to fruition.
10) Dove Toffee and Caramel Moment.
Dove has only over the past maybe 5 years or so put out their own ice creams in pint form. This one is amazing. The thing that sets it apart from other toffee chip ice creams is the layer of chocolate ganache on top. Breaking through that initial layer of chocolate is like busting through the finish line of a race except, this isn't the end. Oh no, my friend...It is merely the beginning.
Honorable Mention: Graeter's Black Raspberry Chip, Ben and Jerry's Turtle Soup, Ben and Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake, and Publix Brand Santa's White Christmas

Hello...is it me you're looking for???

So...
This is my first attempt at a blog...
Let it sink in...
I know, I now have an online platform to bug all of you!
You really can't get rid of me. I'm like an infected, festering ingrown toenail. Nevermind. That was gross.

You're probably not wondering why I started this. To be honest, I don't know why. I was hoping to share some of my favorite things with the world...and just in case I felt the need to vent some of my frustrations. I'm hoping to have some fun though! Here we go!